Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Social Tip #5: Meeting People for the First Time, Again

If you're like me, you are going to meet a lot of people not worth remembering. If they're important, or interesting, or I want to have sex with them again, I'll remember.
Past Person: Myka! Remember me? We met at Jonathan's party.
Me: No, but don't feel bad. I was probably really drunk and keeping my eye on an antique vase.
I don't want to lie, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or burn bridges because I might discover that a person is important.

A lot of books will recommend taking note of particular facial features to associate to a name when meeting people. Unfortunately, I've found there can just as easily be a "Big Nose Brian" as a "Big Nose Brandon," and all I've succeeded in remembering is that I meet a lot of people with big noses, a fact I will easily remember when meeting them again. Likewise, "Oozing Zit Suzie" does not always have an oozing zit, and "Shaved Eyebrow Sherman" regrows his brow. Of course, some are easy, but the "Burn Scar Bettys" and "Sloppy Crotch Veronicas" come too few and far between.

Don't bother trying to remember.

Here's what I do:
Past Person: Myka! How are you? Remember that we agreed to adopt a highway together?
Me: No. [Wink]
That's when I point to my eye and wink. Now that person thinks I remember it so well that to suggest otherwise is a joke. Or, I remember but am not at liberty to talk about it at that time, and now we are in on some exciting secret together!

Later, if the person comes up to me again, here's what I do:
Past Person: But seriously, you have to remember. We took that road trip to the middle of Arizona and drove over a condemned bridge... twice.
Me: Of course! [Wink]
And I'm out of it again!


Knute123 said...

You left out sloppy c**t Misra!

Myka Fox said...

thanks, i have edited the blog appropriately. of course, misra is not such a common name so I changed it not for her protection but to avoid confusion.