Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Social Tip #237 - No Yourself

I've spent my whole life wondering, "Who am I?"

And now I know. I am the person who constantly wonders who they are.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Social Tip #236 - Target Your Consumer

The Humane Society set up an Adopt-a-Pet truck right next to the hospital...

Lost your mom? Here's a cat.

Fill that hole with something soft. For at least twelve years or so.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Social Tip #235 - Anticreate

I don't want children, but if I ever did, I would adopt. I don't want a baby that looks like me, I want one that is a product of people so attractive that they had to fuck no matter what.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Social Tip #234 - Quit From Home

I've had a lot of jobs and they always end the same way. They always end with me deciding I don’t want to work at a place anymore and then just stop showing up. I never quit. Why should I bother to go in to quit? I don’t work there anymore.