Social Tip #239 - Ride With the Heaven's Devils

Normally when I see people riding bicycles, I'm like, "What are you, from the past? Or Chinese?"

That is, unless, Hasidic Jews are riding them. They're so far back in the past they make bikes look futuristic. Are they allowed to use something that advanced?

Social Tip #209 - Avoid Calculating People

China is going to take over the world because the Chinese are all about accuracy.

Chinese people are so accurate, they're Japanese.

Social Tip #204 - Learn Chinese - 学习中文 (Xuéxí zhōngwén)

When China finally takes over the world and refuses to speak to us in English, don't curse your bad luck, they gave us every fucking chance.

Social Tip #197 - Fuck You, Cookie

I got two fortunes in my fortune cookie. The first one read: Follow your sense of humor, it will never lead you astray. The second read: Just kidding.

Fuck you, cookie.

Social Tip #184 - Robot-Class Hero

A lot of people are complaining that computers and robots are taking jobs from real workers. I say, "Good! Let the computers do the work! Let the people rest; the work's still gettin' done, right?"

I don't see any harm, as long as the Chinese people don't realize they're not robots before they have built enough robots to replace themselves.