Thursday, September 24, 2009

Social Tip #146 - Don't Skimp On The Soul Soap

I used to date a guy who broke up with me to move to Israel and convert to orthodox Judaism. I got dumped for God.

I tried to stay friends with him, but anytime we would begin to have some fun he would complain about all of the extra hours of soul cleansing he was going to have to do before going to heaven. Easy there on the soul cleansing, buddy, all we did was say the word "retard" and do impressions of a camera salesman with an accent.

I for one, don't mind the soul cleaning process, I find it enjoyable. Some people like a good bath. And others, choose not to get dirty in the first place.

3 comments:

BrianAlt said...

There really isn't a Jewish concept of heaven, so WTF was he talking about?

Myka Fox said...

As it was explained to me, Jews don't believe in hell, but instead are subjected to a limbo my ex described as being worse than hell, because instead of being burned in sulfur a sinner must be forced to reflect on all of their wrongdoings, and suffer the resulting shame and guilt. The amount of sin is proportional to amount of time spent in limbo, which is why my friend was worried about the extra hours of soul cleansing.

Tim said...

I'm not an expert, but I did take a course by an expert and Jew's should beleive that such suffering of shame should occur during their lifetime and not after death. After death, I believe they wait for the messiah to come. You're ex sounds like a C average student of Judiasm.