Showing posts with label America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label America. Show all posts

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Social Tip #174 - You Can Never Go Back

I went to visit my old elementary school, but when I got there it had changed its name from "Desert Shadows" to "Liberty" and I didn't recognize any of the structures.

I disregarded the no-trespassing sign and hopped a fence to investigate the changes. I had my speech all planned out in case I was approached by security. You can't arrest me, I'm a Liberty alumna, only in 1985 it was called Desert Shadows. I always thought "Desert Shadows" was a depressing name for an elementary, it's a constant reminder that everyone who lives here has to hide in dark crevices to prevent the sun's constant x-ray exposure. But it is still better than "Liberty." If anyone, it is those on the school board who should be apprehended for allowing a war-time name change to proselytize young children into blindly following the American creed. Five years old is too soon for liberty or death.

Later, I learned that my old school hadn't changed at all, I was just at the wrong school.














(actual Desert Shadows Elementary shadow)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Social Tip #122 - FACE FACTS

Mt Rushmore freaks me out. Before it was carved up, it was originally known by the Lakota Sioux as "Six Grandfathers," but they didn't seem to need to blast the mountain in their images. Now it is three great dudes, and some other guy. Who is that other guy? It was just like some guy said, "I built it, I should get to be one."

Monday, July 06, 2009

Social Tip #105 - BURN BRAS, NOT FLAGS

My friend tried to get me to dress up in red, white, and blue for the Fourth of July, but I don't go full frontal anymore. The last time I dressed up it just made me feel angry. It's not that I feel misrepresented by all of the terrible things our country does, which I do, it is just that I don't want to be accused of being cutesy.

Being cutesy is what is really wrong with America.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Social Tip #94 - LEGALIZE MORE DRUGS MORE

Why is it so much more illegal to sell drugs than it is to use them? If we throw our money away, that's our problem.

If we try to make it back, that's America's problem.