Social Tip #152 - Learn Quantum Theory (Part One)

Quantum Theory dictates that all atoms are actually in multiple locations at once, and only settle on one location while being observed.

When I think about what that actually means about reality, why bother working?

Its like I told my boss, leave me alone. I wouldn't be staring off into space if you weren't observing it. You created this reality.

Social Tip #147 - Keep Your Perspective

They say life is precious. Why? Why is it precious? Why is it so rare? It certainly doesn’t feel rare right now. As long as I've known it, life has never been anything but abundant.

Social Tip #119 - LOOK ALIVE

Medical advancements are weird. They can't fully fix you or keep you alive forever, they just sort of extend your life. It's basically like saying, "So, you want to stick around for another twenty years?"

I guess so, I don't know. Now there are more options? It's hard enough coming up with the courage to kill myself, and here you are, forcing me to make the decision to live longer? You monsters.

Photo by Articulate Matter

Social Tip #114 - SCREEN YOUR FRIENDS

A friend told me they met a Hollywood starlet. "She was disgustingly skinny in real life, but on screen she looks just like you. Imagine, if you were on screen, you'd probably look like Rosie O'Donnell."

I know there was supposed to be some sort of compliment in there, but I've only ever seen what Rosie O'Donnell looks like on screen. Does that mean I look like her in real life?

Social Tip #60 - Live Twittering

I went to the park yesterday and saw a guy with a gigantic parachute looking kite thing. Every now and then it lifted and it looked like he might catch flight, but he never did. I was about to ask him if he was trying to fly when a bunch of teenagers screamed from behind me,

"Are you gonna fly?"

"No," the guy answered, annoyed.

What a gigantic fucking tool. He was definitely the biggest tool in the park. If I had Twitter on my phone, I could let everyone know. There had to be a way to make my every thought and observation known.

"I am looking at the biggest tool in the park," I said out loud, addressing anyone in my range.

I was live Twittering.

Then, someone behind me said,

"Yeah, he is."

He commented on my live Twitter, and we had a real life Wall-to-Wall exchange.