Social Tip #223 - Use Your Words

"Same diff."

Remember same diff? What did that mean?

"I was wrong."

Social Tip #152 - Learn Quantum Theory (Part One)

Quantum Theory dictates that all atoms are actually in multiple locations at once, and only settle on one location while being observed.

When I think about what that actually means about reality, why bother working?

Its like I told my boss, leave me alone. I wouldn't be staring off into space if you weren't observing it. You created this reality.

Social Tip #18 - Respecting Superiors

I used to wear a shirt that read MY FATHER DIED IN A BAKING ACCIDENT. It's a line from a play I was in during high school, everyone who performed in that play got that shirt.

I wore it to work, and my boss asked me what the shirt was about. I told him that a bunch of them were handed out at my father's funeral. There was a terrible oven explosion that took his life, but he had a wonderful sense of humor and would have seen the irony in his death. He would have loved the shirt.

My boss said, "Oh, I'm sorry about that."

I said, "I'm just kidding. My father is a dentist. He is still alive."

My boss said, "My father died from cancer."

I said, "Oh, did you get a shirt?"