No matter what you say when you break up, what you really mean is:
"Sorry, I would rather die alone."
Showing posts with label Lonliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lonliness. Show all posts
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Social Tip #8: The Baby Cemetery
Want to make friends but the dog park is full of losers who own dogs? Do what I do:
Go to the baby cemetery.
The people who hang out there are Lone-ly.
Plus, they are great at knitting tiny gloves and hats and have no one to give them to. Of course, I have tiny hands and head. If you are normal sized maybe you should go to the grownup cemetery.
Want to make friends but the dog park is full of losers who own dogs? Do what I do:
Go to the baby cemetery.
The people who hang out there are Lone-ly.
Plus, they are great at knitting tiny gloves and hats and have no one to give them to. Of course, I have tiny hands and head. If you are normal sized maybe you should go to the grownup cemetery.
Social Tip #7: The Dog Park
Don't go to the dog park.
Healthy people love dogs because they love dogs.
Other people love dogs because they love people. These people go to dog parks. Avoid these people.
Don't go to the dog park.
Dog parks only offer people who miss their homes in Montana. These people will tell you more than one horror story about poop. These people will tell you about Sergeant Stubby, the most decorated war dog of World War I.
Make no mistake, I love dogs. But if I owned a dog that inspired weirdo strangers to come up to me, that dog would have to go.
Don't go to the dog park.
Healthy people love dogs because they love dogs.
Other people love dogs because they love people. These people go to dog parks. Avoid these people.
Don't go to the dog park.
Dog parks only offer people who miss their homes in Montana. These people will tell you more than one horror story about poop. These people will tell you about Sergeant Stubby, the most decorated war dog of World War I.
Make no mistake, I love dogs. But if I owned a dog that inspired weirdo strangers to come up to me, that dog would have to go.
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