Social Tip #238 - Run Away

I always keep my shoelaces tied, I don't like to talk to old people.

Social Tip #1: Starting a Conversation with Strangers

I have always had a lot of trouble talking to strangers. What should I say to ensure they don't hate me right away? I decided to start my social progress by talking to women because they tend to be the people I have the most trouble with. Probably because I hate my mom. I read in a book (I will not say which because I don't want you to read it and become better at making friends than me) that a great way to start a conversation with a stranger is to give them a sincere compliment. This is a direct transcript of my first conversation with a stranger:

Me: Hey, those are some snazzy boots.
Woman: These aren't boots, they're leg braces.

Woops. Now she thinks I am stupid.

Me: I knew that. I just didn't want to bring up your depressing, depressing leg braces.
Woman: (No response)

Recovery not successful. Abort mission and leave.

Me: Get out of my way, I have a marathon to finish.

Off to a bad start but learned an important lesson: Sincere compliments do not work when they are not accurate. Later, I tried again:

Me: Those are some really ugly leg braces.
Woman: These aren't leg braces. This is a wheelchair.

Final Thought: Sincere compliments are not helpful when strangers are disabled.