I have two friends who fight with each other over whose therapist is better.
I bet they could both find better therapists.
ME: Honey, have you brushed your teeth yet?
BOYFRIEND: Leave me alone, mom! I'm raping!
ME: What have I told you about raping before you brush your teeth? And don't forget to clean up your room when you're done!
BOYFRIEND: God, mom, I know!
ME: I don't like your tone, mister. Just wait until your father gets home, no rape for a week!
"Oh no, Your test results were negative? That's terrible, you are so young. Have you written a list of everything you want to do before you die?"Why did he do that?! Someone should suffocate him with the AIDS quilt. Maybe people who think it is funny to pretend to be stupid are just too stupid to know when something isn't funny. Personally, I'd rather get AIDS then tell that joke. It shares the same comedic welcome as an inappropriate sexual pun (ex. I like to give children head. Excuse me, a head full of knowledge.)